Refuse to Give Up: Equanimity

I have observed in the last couple weeks a few issues with my routine with which I’m trying to cope. It takes some effort, but I know that if I’m too attached to my routine I will become overly obsessed with it and downright grumpy about it when it doesn’t work out as planned.

Here’s my conundrum: For weeks I’ve had an established wake-up time of 6:30, which offers me the time I want for chanting and meditation before my wife leaves for work. These have been daily features for me which I not only look forward to and enjoy, but I find set my mind right for the rest of the day. Ideally, I’d get up even thirty minutes earlier, but the issue at hand has become that of bed time and restful sleep.

Working an evening shift means, on a good day, I’m probably in bed around 11:30.  If I work overtime, I’m setting my bedtime back, or if baby Aly wakes up more than twice in the middle of the night (like the last two, while she’s been ill), such disturbances cause my morning routine to falter — I end up getting up closer to 8:30.

This may come off a little as a whine, but it is more of an acknowledgement on my part. I admit that a problem exists and acknowledge the fact that I’m having a hard time, but I resolve to not give up. A lot of people seem to give up on things when they get difficult, but I know my intentions are good and, quite frankly, so is the result.

So will I be resuming the 6:30 wake up time? Most certainly, but I need to resume it while simultaneously letting go of the expectation of it. If something comes up, I resolve to be willingly flexible (as opposed to reluctantly so).

My morning ritual (or any other ritual, for that matter) isn’t the point here — being okay with whatever life throws at me really is. Equanimity such as this is a major facet of my goals in life and, sure, I’m far from realizing this type of perfection on many levels (as my wife could certainly attest), but I’m practicing, and I invite you to practice too. If we could all just take life as it comes instead of trying to make it what we want it to be, we’d experience a lot less suffering ourselves and cause a lot less for others too.

Be well, friends. I will write again soon.

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2 comments

  1. awakening with awareness…witness…great words here.

  2. lots of wisdom and calm in this post – thank you

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