Thoughts of Dad — One Year Later

Good morning, friends.

One year ago today my father passed away as a result of his long battle with cancer. I didn’t really realize this morning that it had been a year until I noticed posts from family members on Facebook, but it isn’t as if I have forgotten him entirely — I simply don’t usually relate to events in this way anymore. Noting the passage of time is useful in certain cases, but other times it does little but strengthen attachment to things that are already gone.

So yeah, I didn’t really “compute” that it had been a year, but I remember my father daily.

One should realize that not every memory of my father is pleasant to recollect — he had serious deficiencies as a parent, and as a husband as far as I can tell. This said, those of us who are begotten of him do have a choice in how we observe his memory, and when we can’t find anything positive, we ought to consider that he probably did the best he knew how. Maybe that means that sometimes I think of him as an idiot (at least when it comes to parenting), but I can at least easily show compassion for the one I consider an idiot.

He really was an intelligent person, but intelligence can come with a price… even supreme intelligence in matters of the world will not help one to transcend the world. To death, he succumbed, just as each of us eventually must.

I have lost both of my parents, but I have gained insight into how things must be. A child is born to parents, is nurtured (to whatever extent) by them, and eventually is left behind by death. To remember one’s fallen family is fine, but to be consumed by pain and the perception of loss is too much — and unnecessary.

May those loved ones who have passed on find liberation from all suffering, and may we do likewise.

Please be well, friends!

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