August – Memories…

August tends to be a little high-voltage for me as far as memories and emotions go. In my mind, August is entrenched in a number of ways that make it a bit of a roller coaster for me sometimes even though I know that the narrative that plays out in my mind about the feelings and thoughts is ultimately untrue (or, at the very least, uncertain).

Lets think about this for a few minutes.

For 13 years, August symbolized a sort of new beginning in the start of a new school year. For many of us, especially in public schools, this may have been a high-stress period, and it certainly was for me also, but I always got a thrill out of all of the new possibilities, especially in the later years. New learning, new friends (and possibly girlfriends), and all manner of new experiences were linked to the high school culture, and that began in August ever year.

In the 14 years after graduation, many times when I’ve moved from one home to another it has happened in or near August. I’ve never moved in the winter that I can recall, or very early in Spring, but always late Summer or very early in the Autumn. Moving is always exciting, even if there is a lot of stress and hassle wrapped up in it.

So here are two examples of near-ritual occurrences over 27 years of my life that are linked in some way or another to August. I think it is strange that I tend to re-live these memories (and their associated feelings) while listening to music that, for some reason or another, I rarely come into contact with except at this time of year. As if pre-programmed to do so, I tend to bring out the same old music that I listened to then or I will by happenstance come into contact with it on the radio.

On top of the repeat occurrences in August that have conditioned the mind, I also have a couple of other significant attachments that I live with each year. The day of my mother’s birth and passing away are both this month (today, in fact, would have been her birthday) as is my wedding anniversary. In fact, we chose to have our wedding on the anniversary of my mother’s passing, so I suppose it is fair to say that I have some odd emotions on that date (but at least I don’t forget it, I guess).

I think there is a lot that goes into this — I’ve probably only scraped the surface — but I find it interesting to think about just how crazy I always feel around this time of the year. Do you have a particular time of the year when you always seem to feel a certain way?

Thanks for reading, friends. Please be well!

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2 comments

  1. Dennis Beyer · · Reply

    My mom’s side pf the family has started having a family reunion of sorts every spring/early summer. That time of year has started me thinking of the family members that are no longer there to celebrate with us.

    1. Sounds like a good thing to do, Denny. We had an event at temple just this past weekend to celebrate our parents and remember family who have passed on. We should never obsess over them, but we shouldn’t forget them either.

      May we remember our ancestors fondly and forgive them (as much as we are able) for their failings.

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